She’s not sure about God, Jesus, or Christianity. Jesus is my hope and my reason. Given our differences, you might think this complete stranger and I couldn’t possibly connect.

But she saw me on Netflix and decided to look me up. She messaged that when she found my website, she almost didn’t scroll down because my faith is front and center. She said, “I’m an atheist,” and that her first inclination was to disconnect. But something made her keep poking, and she clicked through to my blog.

Her curiosity led to our connection.

Daughters of Dementia

She read one of my blog posts about my mom and then reached out to me through a message. My story is different from hers. Our moms loved us differently. But her mom and my mom are both slowly fading. We are both daughters who live in the uncomfortable place of complicated, anticipatory grief. We both care about someone with dementia.

We are connected. We are vastly different and profoundly the same.

The Human Connection

There is a sameness to us humans.

We all are born. We all live and die.

We all think. We all believe. We all create.

We all try. We all succeed and fail.

We all hope, celebrate, and grieve. We all love. We all hate.

The Bible refers to this alikeness we humans have as the likeness of God in us.

So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

GENESIS 1:27 (ESV)

We humans are image-bearers of God. And he connects us.

How Do We Get Connected?

The loneliness epidemic was a topic of conversation long before COVID-19 highlighted the dangers of isolation. Humans need to connect. Lack of connection is reportedly as dangerous to our health as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

But without curiosity, we won’t make the connection. We have to poke around a little bi to discover the fascinating aspects of another person that will connect us.

In my senior year of college, a supervisor gave me a disappointing evaluation. He said my work was fine, but he couldn’t help but wonder if Speech Pathology was what I wanted to do. What he said next has stuck with me for forty years.

“You never ask questions.”

Several years later, when I found my passion in Biblical studies and couldn’t stop asking questions, I realized how discerning my supervisor was. When I was connected, I was curious. When I was curious, I asked questions. When I asked questions, I connected more.

Why Don’t We Ask More Questions?

We’ve all heard the adage, “Curiosity killed the cat.” We act like we believe it. Are we afraid that asking questions will get us into trouble? Offend? Or maybe we think we’re better off not knowing than in showing our ignorance.

The pursuit of knowledge is sometimes dangerous. But could it be worth the risk? That cat saying doesn’t end with the tragic news of feline execution. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but the full maxim suggests that satisfaction brought the cat back.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

ORIGIN UNKNOWN

The Satisfaction of Connection

Curiosity, if well-received, will almost always lead to a story. A story that is generously shared and eagerly heard leads to another story and then another. These stories connect us as we each share or listen in turn and are mutually encouraged.

My Come Alongside travels allow me to make new friends out of strangers and reconnect with old friends whose roads have taken them in another direction than mine. Recently, a three-week trip through ten states put me in the right place at the right time to have lunch with the daughter of my best friend from high school. Cancer took Carolyn much too early, and sitting with her daughter and sharing our stories comforted our souls.

I was delighted to see that my old friend’s intrepid sense of adventure lives on in her youngest daughter. Jenny let me into her story, I invited her into mine, and the connection was deeply satisfying.

This is what the human connection looks like. This is story. And I love it.

Come Alongside

As you travel in grace this week, consider building a new friendship, deepening an old one, or seeking to restore a strained or broken connection.

Ask questions that invite understanding. What is delighting you these days? What is challenging you? What has your attention or requires your energy?

If you find a fellow image bearer who is generous enough to share, sit gently with their story as you listen.

A word of caution (learned the hard way): You can avoid the fate of the proverbial cat if you make sure your curiosity is rooted in a heart of love rather than a nose for news or a strong arm pushing for change. It probably wouldn’t hurt to do a quick heart check using 1 Corinthians 13 and its description of love before you ask any questions.

As always, please share your comments. I’d love to hear how story has connected you.

Some Lagniappe

Here’s a little something extra for your pure enjoyment. I love old musicals, and can’t talk about connecting through story without this song running on replay through my brain. Laugh all you want at Debra Kerr’s huge dress in Rogers and Hammerstein’s musical, The King and I, but don’t miss the powerful message of her song, Getting to Know You. Choose curiosity over fear, and you might just connect with someone who is “precisely your cup of tea.”

Traveling in Grace,

Christi