What’s the Magic Word?

I lost count of the number of times I had the “magic words” conversation with my kids. I’m sure my mom lost count with me, too.

I taught my kids to say “please” and “thank you” because an attitude of gratitude requires both asking and receiving. Wow. that sounds like good parenting, doesn’t it? Mostly, I didn’t want them to seem like rude little monsters. But I like to think I was aware of the need to cultivate a lifestyle of thanksgiving, too.

I’d ask, “What do you say?”

The child, having been taught a litany of good words, but not sure which one fit the occasion, would throw them all out in turn.

Sorry?
Excuse me?
Please?
Thank you?

When I gave a nod of approval to the appropriate word, the child would sigh with relief and happily enjoy the reward for good manners.

Practice Makes Progress

Is this sort of rote teaching a waste of time? Or does it really cultivate gratitude? It’s a start in the right direction. I’m a fan of the whole “Say it till you mean it” strategy of mindset change.

It’s why we let our thanksgiving meal grow cold while everyone around the table says something they’re thankful for.

Even if some folks stick to the expected answers (family, health, my brother is here) or the ones that seem a little shallow (toys, electronics, my brother is at the other end of the table)–the very practice of speaking gratitude aloud acknowledges both the truth that every good thing is a gift and the need to thank the giver.

Expressed gratitude brings the whole family along–one person speaks it and others give thanks as well. One person says “family” and everyone looks around the table and gives thanks for those who are gathered this year and remembers those who aren’t. Everyone has a favorite toy, and being reminded to give thanks for it with a grateful heart isn’t such a bad thing. And if we’re being transparent, who doesn’t want to give a hearty “thank you” to the wise one who separated the quarrelsome siblings?

Practice doesn’t always make perfect, but it usually makes progress.

Please and Thank You in the book of Psalms

Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer;
And give heed to the voice of my supplications!
In the day of my trouble I shall call upon You,
For You will answer me.
There is no one like You among the gods, O Lord,
Nor are there any works like Yours.
All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord,
And they shall glorify Your name.
For You are great and do wondrous deeds;
You alone are God. Teach me Your way, O Lord;
I will walk in Your truth;
Unite my heart to fear Your name.
I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And will glorify Your name forever.
For Your lovingkindness toward me is great,
And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

Psalm 86:6-13 (ESV)

I hope you’ll unpack this Psalm of Thanksgiving on your own. There’s some good stuff here. But I got to this Psalm because I wanted to look deeper into “giving thanks.” Here the Psalmist says: “I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart.”

I love the Hebrew language because the words draw pictures. According to the Blue Letter Bible app, the Hebrew word we pronounce “yadah” is what is translated as “give thanks” in Psalm 86. The word has a throwing or casting motion. In the Old Testament, in over one hundred verses, it’s mostly translated as either praise, thanks, or confession. But a few times it’s given the more literal understanding of throw, cast, or shoot.

The words “with all my heart” mean Intentional and wholehearted willingness.

I will give thanks with intention–like a powerfully and precisely thrown football in a Thanksgiving Day bowl game.

When we speak the magic words, read aloud and agree with the Psalms, or go around the table to make a family gratitude list–the words go forth with intentional impact.

We throw our praise of God’s name to be caught by someone longing to praise him. We cast our thanks for God’s deeds in our lives and it becomes an invitation to someone who’s struggling to see His activity in their own. We confess our dependence on God in times of trouble to someone else who needs Him.

Often that “someone” in need is me. A great place to start giving thanks is intentionally speaking words that I, myself, need to hear and believe.

I love the phrase from verse 11, “Unite my heart to fear your name.” Sometimes we come to His Word or our table of thanksgiving with broken or divided hearts. We can choose to give thanks anyway. We set our will to learn His ways and walk in His truth. And He makes our hearts whole. Don’t you love that?

Come Alongside

Will you practice giving thanks with me this year? Whether you gather for a meal with one or sixty, go to work on Thanksgiving Day and serve others, or spend the day alone with the Father, will you shoot out your arrows of praise?

Here are some ideas for setting your mind on gratitude:

• I’m practicing by reading aloud through a list of Thanksgiving Psalms (Here are a few: 8, 18, 19, 29, 30, 32-34, 36, 40, 41, 66, 103-106, 111, 113, 117, 124, 129, 135, 136, 138, 139, 146-148, and 150).
• My favorite thanksgiving practice is singing at the top of my lungs to a couple of Thanksgiving playlists (okay, that’s not just at Thanksgiving — I love singing in the car). I’m also rocking this amazing Thanksgiving Medley from YouTube.
• I haven’t really explored it yet, but I’m excited to listen to the Every Psalm Project — a project by Poor Bishop Hooper to make sure that every one of the songs in the book of Psalms is sung again. It’s not really “sing at the top of your lungs” kind of music, but more meditative and contemplative.

Let’s don’t worry too much about how we give thanks, let’s just make sure that we do!

Traveling in Grace,

Christi