Yes. I’m still talking about confession. Scroll by if you’re tired of it. Read through if you can take more.

I love Q&As. A recent audience member commented after a talk on confessional community, “You must have felt so free when your secret came out.” I wanted to hug her. She got it. She really got it!

Impatient to be free

I fell in love with the song, “Secret Love” when I heard it on an episode of Happy Days. Joanie Cunningham played it on the jukebox and pondered her crush on Potsy Weber, her older brother’s best friend. I related deeply to the fourteen-year-old dancing alone in the local diner. I’m not sure what the name of my secret love was then, but I know I had one. I always had one.

Once I had a secret love that lived within the heart of me. All too soon my secret love became impatient to be free. So I told a friendly star–the way that dreamers often do–just how wonderful you are and why I am so in love with you. Now I shout it from the highest hills! Even told the golden daffodils. At last my heart’s an open door. And my secret love’s no secret anymore.

Songwriters: Paul Francis Webster / Sammy Fain
Secret Love lyrics © Capitol CMG Publishing, Downtown Music Publishing, Royalty Network, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Tratore, Warner Chappell Music, Inc

The song is at its best (in my opinion) in the classic movie “Calamity Jane.” Doris Day walks dreamily among the trees and considers her secret longing. She jumps up on her horse and rides out into the open to sing, “Now I shout it from the highest hills!” You feel your secret longings soar with her voice. Good movie-making does justice to a great song.

See the prison

The woman in my audience understood the longing for freedom. She knew better than most what it is to have your sins known–to be seen. The dread. The longing. The consequences. The freedom.

Each person there that day had been found guilty of a crime and was incarcerated. I had the audacity to stand inside their prison, knowing I’d walk out at the end of the day, and say to them, “Confession brings freedom.”

I stood there. I said it. And they got it.

One woman told us she’d recently had a sin uncovered, and that her sisters in Christ had come around her, loved her, and restored her to community. As she spoke, hands came out from all around her and grasped her shoulders in silent, loving support.

I wonder if these women are quick to understand the need for confessional community because they see the bars. Are those of us on the outside less apt to recognize the prison of secret sin because of our apparent freedom?

Incarcerated people who come to know forgiveness through Christ while in prison sometimes use the phrase, “Free inside.”

Free is who they are. For eternity.

Inside is just where they are. For now.

Now my heart’s an open door

Doris Day sang about her heart’s open door, once her love was confessed. My incarcerated sister shared about how confessed sin opened the door to forgiveness and restoration. The Psalmist wrote about confession, too. He spoke of the damage a closed-off heart can do.

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.

Psalm 32:3 (ESV)

And he spoke of the freedom that confession, cleansing, and restoration can bring.

O Lord, open my lips,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
    you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 51:15-17 (ESV)

Confession is scary

The ladies at the prison also understood the fear of confessing sin. Anything they say out loud, except to an attorney, can be used against them. Isn’t that our biggest fear, too? If I am seen, if my sins and struggles are known, someone will use it against me.

I’ve experienced judgment, malicious gossip, and having my confession brought up later and used as a weapon against me. I’ve also experienced forgiveness, a clean heart, and freedom. I understand the fear of being seen. But I will forever choose the freedom of being known.

Come Alongside

Psalm 139:23, 24 and James 5:16 are great verses to pray through if you want come alongside me and practice the spiritual discipline of confession. First of all, ask God to show you if there is anything in you that grieves him and harms you or others. He’ll show you your sin, and your way back from it. Then ask him if this is a sin you need to confess to a trusted brother or sister, and let them pray for you. Confession is not a “tell-all.” A simple, “I’m struggling with ___, will you pray for me?” will do.

I’d love to hear from you. Share your insights, your stories, and your questions in the comments. Let’s talk about confession. Let’s talk about freedom. Let’s talk about living an abundant life in community.