I find myself bargaining with my elderly mother like I used to bargain with my young children.

Her: I want some watermelon.

Me: Eat four bites of meat and two bites of your beets first.

Her: Keep the trash can close. I may need to….you know.

Me: Then you probably don’t need to eat watermelon.

Her: One bite Two. Three. Four. Okay, now, watermelon.

Me: Do you need the trashcan?

Her: No. I like watermelon.

I love the joy on Mom’s face as she gleefully salts her reward and eats it. It delights my heart to see her delighted.

But the bargaining we did to get here seems disrespectful. She’s my mother. She taught me how to eat. I don’t want to treat her like a child. She doesn’t want to be treated like one either. It’s one of the losses of aging and the role reversal that seems to go with it. For both of us.

Then again, I couldn’t resist saying, “You’re such a child.” She grinned. She’d eaten much less than half her dinner, and she’d gotten her watermelon. And somehow, I felt guilty. Mom-1, Me-0.

Who doesn’t love a good bargain?

I’m a sucker for the markdown. My head knows those items are marked up before they’re marked down, but my heart still leaps at the sight of a clearance rack or a red tag. I know no one pays the full asking price for a car, but I still feel like I won something when I’m able to talk the seller down a buck or two.

And I love incentives. Promise me a giveaway if I visit your site, business, or church? I’m there.

I don’t need a coffee mug or a t-shirt. But you’ll give me both if I refer 40 people to your business? I’m in.

But there’s a downside to bargains. I can’t think of one Black Friday purchase I’ve made that has been worth the hour, the lines, or the effort. Somehow, every incredible deal has been incredibly disappointing.

God deals in blessings, not bribes or bargains.

I sometimes bring the markdown mindset to my dealings with God. Usually, I bargain in an attempt to delay something He’s told me to do, limit what He’s told me to give, soften what He’s told me to say, or detour around where He’s told me to go.

• I’ll watch just one more reel or play one more game, then I’ll start writing. Reels and games are like potato chips.
• How about I shoot that friend an Amazon link rather than actually sending them the book that would bless them?
• I think I’ll speak in general terms about faith or talk circles around a sin, and just hope the person God sent me to figures out the truth.
• I really shouldn’t try to stop by to see that person on the way God laid on my heart. They probably don’t need any mutual encouragement. I’ll keep them in my thoughts and prayers, instead.

There’s a precedent of negotiation in the Bible. Abraham bargained for Sodom and Gomorrah. Moses put in a sub to speak to Pharoah. Gideon tested God with his fleece. It seems God sometimes allows us to bargain, but in the end, He does what He says He will do. Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed. Moses went to Pharoah. Gideon led God’s army.

God isn’t trying to trick, cheat, or manipulate us. He wants to bless us. When he tells us to do something, that is the thing he wants us to do. Nothing we do in place of it will please him like our obedience will.

Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord?

1 Samuel 15:22 (ESV)

God’s blessings are not bribery to win our reluctant obedience. Willingly obeying God is the blessing. The obedience is the win. He is delighted when we obey Him, and a delighted God sings over His people.

God’s blessings are not bribery to win our obedience. Obeying God is the blessing. Obedience is the win.

When I obey one bite at a time, counting every forkful and complaining as I go, it’s a loss. When my eyes are full of my sweet, juicy, and pink watermelon desires, I miss out on the hearty meal of delighting in and being delighted by God.

Let’s not trade in a blessing for a bad bargain.

Is there a better way?

I love the GPS apps that provide travel tips and warnings from folks headed down the same road. Fellow travelers, what’s your best route to the kind of obedience that delights God? Share in the comments. Let’s find our way together!