More than a happy ending

I’ve always had a bit of a love-hate relationship with hope.

I love happy endings. At the risk of being judged harshly, I’ll confess that I often peek at the last page of a book before I start reading it. I hate to waste my time on something that will leave me dissatisfied in the end. I want to know that the hope created in the first few chapters of a book will be fulfilled in the last. I don’t mind my fiction being unrealistic.

Hope that puts to shame

Even in real life, my modus operandi can be, “do what you can and hope for the best.” It’s as if hoping long and hard enough or being good enough can make reality live up to my expectations.

Of course, that kind of hope is just wishing. Wishing often disappoints. And disappointment often brings shame.

“Why did you stay in that marriage?”
“Why did you keep paying that contractor?”
“Why did you give money to that addicted friend?”

If I was looking for an outcome made up in my head, if I was only wishing, I couldn’t answer those questions. I could only feel foolish and naive for continuing in hope.

Advent Hope

The “hope” of Christmas — represented by the candle many of us will light tomorrow on our advent wreath, isn’t a wish. It doesn’t put us to shame. It doesn’t disappoint.

Its fulfillment isn’t dependent on things turning out the way we imagine them. In fact, it doesn’t depend on us at all.

Advent hope is the hope Paul wrote about to the Romans.

…We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5: 1-5 (ESV)

Advent Hope is hope in the glory of God, not in happy-ending romantic tales.

When God is the main character of our story, we live life with His glory in view. We endure hard things because we trust His story.

We never hope we’ll suffer, but sometimes we’ll suffer in order to hope.

We never hope we’ll suffer, but sometimes we’ll suffer in order to hope.

CRG

A young friend of mine recently described her years-long struggle with infertility as “walking the tight rope of hope and emptiness” (Beth Morgan Cowan). Of course we hope that the glory of God will be best achieved by filling our arms with the desires of our heart. But sometimes our arms remain empty, and we struggle to understand why.

Can we hope for the desires of our heart and still rejoice in the hope of the glory of God? Can we grieve arms left empty and still trust God’s story? We can do both if our hope is surrendered to the God who pours out his love into our hearts.

“God, who loved me first, I surrender my empty arms to you.”
“God of everlasting love, I surrender my broken marriage to you.”
“God, your lovingkindness never fails, I surrender my sick body to you.”
“Loving Father God, I surrender my prodigal child to you.”

Surrender isn’t easy. It’s pretty near impossible. Beth shared, “In the most gut wrenching of moments, barely able to speak, I surrendered–knowing his answer may be no.”

Surrendered hope can want what the heart wants, and also know that God glory may shine most through our peace in the middle of loss and pain. Our surrendered hope story may bring God glory by comforting others in their suffering or warning them in their sin.

Hope that is produced by character that is produced by endurance that is produced by suffering is not easy hope. But it’s hope that will never put us to shame.

Come Alongside

Living with God’s glory in view is like flipping to the last page of a book. No spoiler alert is necessary, because knowing the end of the story helps us trust the story.

What if this Christmas we don’t put our hope in what’s under the tree or who we’re with? What if we don’t pin our hopes on everyone being nice or the fried turkey turning out perfectly? What if we don’t just swallow our disappointment that this year wasn’t what we hoped?

What if, this Christmas, we hope with surrender, and ask God to show us His glory?

If you’re in the middle of suffering, please know you’re not alone. If you’d like, message me or comment with your story and I’ll pray with you. I can’t make your suffering go away, but hard roads are sometimes made easier when they’re shared.

Traveling in Grace,

Christi